Gotham trailer

OMIGOD I watched it and I'M FREAKING OUT. It is... epic!!!
I can’t wait I can’t wait I can’t wait I can’t wait I can’t wait I can’t. WAIT!
Well, maybe I was wrong about DC. Then again, I didn’t much like Arrow, no matter how many people rave about it. The main actor is just so bad. Just. really bad at acting. Although I do like the other characters, it’s hard to get into when it focuses on the main guy so much.
But then, Marvel isn’t doing too well in TV-land either. Agents of Shield is really slow to start and it’s hard to care about what happens to the characters for a bit. But I think I’m warming up to it, especially with the recent episodes.
But anyway.
This looks so cool! I just wish the fall season was here already. I heard they’re also doing a Flash show, as a spin-off from Arrow. But maybe this one’ll be good, if the guy can actually act.
Sigh. I really hope DC doesn’t let me down again.

Oooh… I really hope Fox doesn’t cancel this one.

So it's summertime...

Or should I say, it's summer!! I'm so happy, I'm practically throwing up rainbows.
No, really.
Why shouldn't I be happy? It's not as if it isn't swimsuit weather and I have become completely out of shape. Completely. I really need to start working out again. Sigh. But at least I can wear dresses now! Well, without those annoying tights, anyway.
But anyway.
Sorry for skipping out on you guys (if there really is anyone out there. Anyone? *tumbleweed rolls by* Well then.) in April. Just, you know, exam month and all. Complete stress-out and not bathing for a week because of the work and stress and procrastination and... I really don't want to think about last month again. Please don't make me.
On the bright side, I made passable grades this year! I really don't know how I managed that. I didn't study at all, until like, literally the two hours in the morning before the exam. :/ Hm. I should really modify my studying technique. Well, there's summer school for that! God help me.
So yeah.
I watched The Winter Soldier. Then watched it a second time. Again. Because it was so AWESOME! I loved it! Sigh. I really need to watch it a third time. The action, the storyline, the heroes, the antagonist, the villain, everything was amazing! Now I really can't wait for Guardians of the Galaxy. I know a lot of people say it looks lame, but Marvel has proven itself over and over again in producing quality films, and I really trust them now to give me a good story with lots of action.
Unlike DC. God, Man of Steel was so bad. I mean, it wasn't that bad for a movie adaptation, but so many things about it were just so wrong. If you've followed the shows Smallville and Justice League, watched the DC animated movies, read the comics, and overall is a complete geek like I am about the Justice League, then you'd know that Superman never kills! I mean, it's what makes him Superman. Just like how Batman never uses guns. The whole thing about Superman is that he's this guy that can literally kill you with his pinkie, but he chooses not to. He's super-powerful, but he chooses the harder, but more morally upright path, rather than just kill left and right, 'cause he could do that. Easily.
And then there's Lois. You know, Anne Hathaway made a passable Catwoman, so I was willing to give Amy Adams the benefit of the doubt. God, was I wrong. She was so bad. Just. So bad. I mean, Lois is supposed to be sassy, fiery. Professional, yes, but never polite. She's supposed to make snarky comments, and... just be Lois.
Sigh. I could go on and on about that movie. Sometimes I think DC is digging itself deeper (I mean cancelling Young Justice for Teen Titans Go? Really?), while Marvel is rising to the top. And I used to be a much bigger fan of DC than Marvel. I guess times are a'changin. Maybe it'll get better? I hope so.
Oh! And I wanted to talk another thing about The Winter Soldier.
You know, when I saw the actor who played Bucky Barnes, he looked really familiar. And then I realized he played the character Carter Baizen in Gossip Girl. It was so weird! Especially because I never thought of Baizen as hot. I always thought he looked sort of smarmy. My sister and I always called him Smarmy Carter Baizen. And then I saw the actor in the Winter Soldier, and he was hot! I think it was the muscle, but he was smoking hot in the Winter Soldier. God. That was really surprising. But that actor can really act. I mean, I still can't reconcile the fact that those two drastically different characters were played by the same person.
But yeah. Here you go. A long-ass post in apology for missing all of April. Actually, I could go on and on.
But I should really stop ranting pointlessly.
Sigh. I love Marvel now. And not only because of the hot bods. ;)

Gotta love the epic action scenes in that movie alone!

I have a plan...

I'm going to fix this stupid staying-up-until-6am-and-then-crashing-and-not-going-to-school thing.
It's an awesome plan.
All I have to do is stay up all night and not sleep until it actually is time for me to sleep, i.e. 10 pm.
It'll work, definitely. I just have to avoid longer-than-15-minutes naps. Because that's going to wreck my internal clock, not fix it.
And besides, I know what I need to do while I'm waiting for the hours to go by.
Study.
And of course I'll do that. Why are you doubting me?
Just watch. I will fix this. It can be fixed. And I`ll do it. Right now. As soon as I'm done posting this. Which is now.

I can juggle and not fail. Totally.

Just finished an assignment...

At 4am. Yup, I am diligent in my work. Definitely.

Funnily enough, I'm not really all that tired. I'm really hungry, though.
Maybe it's because I already took a nap around 12 hours ago.
But I should sleep. Make an effort to fix my fucked up internal clock. Hmm. After a small snack. After all, I did do some homework today (granted, it was homework that was due anyway, but still).
You know, speaking of small snacks, I'm really getting fond of almond milk. I don't know why. It's just really good. And low on calories.
Maybe I'm finally becoming weight-conscious?
Nah. That'll only happen when I regret ordering out pizza so many times. Which I should stop. Really. On the bright side, I seem to have amassed a lot of 2 for 1 movie tickets. Maybe I can ask someone out.
Nevermind. I'll just wait until April 4th. Which is when the Captain America: The Winter Soldier's coming out!
You know, I read somewhere that, in the comics, Black Window gets with the Winter Soldier. And they're this huge power-couple. I hope they hint at it in the movies!

Now you can tell I'm tired. My mind's rambling and going off in all different directions. I'll sign off before I make you nauseous.

Don't they just look awesome together! They would totally be a favourite ship of mine. ^_^

I am sooo stressed....

So I decided to do a fun thing yesterday, and look up when my next tests were going to be.
I really shouldn't have.
Now I literally feel like tearing my hair out and cowering under my bed for eternity.

You know, I used to think I handled stress well, but now I really doubt it. After my minute of hyper-ventilating "Oh god, oh god, I have a physics test in two weeks!", I automatically went into shutdown mode. In which I went on Netflix, started to watch a show, and basically avoided like crazy. Needless to say, I didn't sleep last night. At least until 9am. Thereafter, missing an important class.
I really need to fix this. And I'm going to. Right away.
Right now, actually. I'm going to close this post and go study and/or workout (it helps with the stress sometimes).
Let's hope I accomplish at least one thing today.

So Reading Week's over...

For those of you who don't live in Canada, let me redefine the term as Spring Break.
Not that February is spring, really. Especially in Canada.

I didn't even get to do anything, though, let alone study. I told my manager last week that it was reading week, so I had full availability if he needed me. And it turned out that he took that to heart, and I worked six days out seven. I am so fucking tired. But the paycheck will be awesome! :)
But I told him I can't do the same thing this week because of school, and he said he'd try to cut back my shifts but he hopes I'll be there "when I'm really needed and there's no one else available."
God.
He really needs to hire another person. All the cashiers at work are strained as it is. Not to mention so many of them going on fucking vacation when I have school. I mean, couldn't they go in May, or June? When exams end?
I mean, really.

So I bought a bunch of frozen pizzas

They were on sale for only $4 each. :) I've heard that might be expensive to some people in the US, but here in Toronto that's super cheap.

So... yeah. My foray into cooking has ended with me not knowing where any of the ingredients in our house is and the food that I was actually able to make tasting like bland pieces of shit.
I'm tired.
And broke.
I can't keep spending ten dollars or more a day eating out. It's killing me.
So I decided to just buy large quantities of frozen food (specifically, pizzas right now—maybe I'll focus on something healthier later on when this sale ends) and cook it the night before school for lunch the next day.
I also got these throwaway coffee containers from the dollar store so that I can just have some coffee in the morning without having to rush to Timmie's, or having a huge metal thermos weighing down my already heavy backpack (I swear, I have back problems from this).
Hopefully, I can go at least two weeks without ordering out. My goal is to spend just ten dollars a week on food and stuff, and hopefully pay off the huge debt on my credit card.
I'll let you know when I actually succeed.

Try our new "Burned" flavour! It tastes just like you'd expect it to! No surprises here, no sirree.

Okay forget what I said...

I just finished a homework assignment.
And now it's 3 fucking am.
I am so brain-dead.
Fuck it. I'm never doing this again.
I'll just have to solve my procrastination problem some other way.
Never again.
Good fucking night.

So today didn't work out well...

Okay, you know what, I'm tired of telling myself I'm going to do something, only to find that it's midnight, and really too late to do anything.
I'm going to do an experiment.

I've always found that I am actually able to do work more easily during the night than during the day.
Maybe it's because, during the day, I think I have all the time in the world and so I procrastinate and nothing gets done. But right around midnight, I actually start doing some work. Granted, it isn't much, and it definitely isn't my best (what with me being brain-dead from lack of sleep and all) but it's a start.
I know you're going to say that I should really address the former issue of my procrastination during the day, but I have to do something. And what I've been doing so far hasn't been working. So I guess it's time for a change.
I'm going to start working during the night.
Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to get enough sleep.
Meh. I never get enough sleep anyway. I guess I'll nap or something.

Long time no post

So... yeah.
Sorry it's been so long, but, honestly, nothing interesting has really happened. That's life for you. You could be doing the same old shit everyday and one day wake up and realize you're fifty.
Gawds, I'm tired as fuck. I've actually wanted to post sooner, but I kept telling myself it was a waste of time and to just do my work. You can tell how well that turned out. (I just ended up wasting time anyway.)
But yeah. The reason I'm so fucking tired is because I worked out today. Like, a proper workout. Not the 15-minute shitty runs that I did last month.
I feel like my arms are about to fall off. But here's hoping the flab will go away.

So G.I. Joe: Retaliation came on Netflix. Naturally, I watched it. I'm a huge sucker for action movies. And I LOVED it! Granted, the plot was kind of overused and clichéd (what with the "terrorist briefcase" and all) but it was a lot better than the first one! The action scenes were actually good this time (God, I just keep watching that mountain scene over and over), the girls actually fought beside the guys without getting into a stupid damsel-in-distress moment, and the guys had just as many hot nearly-naked scenes as the girls. I can tell you, Storm Shadow's my new favourite character. *Sigh* Just look at those abs! Not to mention his whole tragic past and the "I am not with you. But for this once, I am not against you." quote. Gawds, I love anti-heroes and anti-villains. He really made the movie for me.
All in all, you can tell that it's one of those movies I'm going to re-watch (maybe just for the action/shirtless scenes). :)
I'm definitely watching the third one in the theatres this time. Going by the sequel, I think the third one will actually be the best out of all of them. I really hope so.

Now I have to go back to studying. But I'm really glad I posted. :) Have a good weekend everyone! It's probably going to be better than mine, considering I have to go to work. Ugh.

Ohh yeah. You can tell why I loved this movie. :)

I'm not a huge fan of people

Nope.
I mean, they're nice to talk to for a few minutes, but after a while, you just feel like punching them in the face. I dunno why. And you try to ignore that feeling—like, they can't really mean that, can they?—but after they're gone, you just keep thinking about it. And you just start hating them even more.

And, you know, I'm trying to tone it down. I'm trying to be more "mature."
But it's really hard.
And it's causing havoc on my social life. As in, I have none, because I go out of my way to avoid them. Especially guys. Sigh. And my hormones aren't helping me make it better.

But better to avoid than to cause violence, right?

I've got an elastic heart

That song is just so awesome.

So, yesterday, I downloaded like over 40 songs. Because my music library really needed an update, and, before, there really wasn't anything good that I thought was worth it.
But now it's like there's a shitload of good, non-autotuned, amazing songs in iTunes. I recently learned that it's because the soundtrack for Catching Fire is coming up, and it released some songs early. Well, if those tracks are any indication of the quality of the soundtrack, I'm definitely getting it.

I've also recently learned that my music taste has changed. Well, not changed, really, more like shifted. I noticed that I like a lot more songs with rap in them than I used to. But not normal rap. More like Linkin Park rap. Man, I love that band. I have so many songs from them. And I also like more metal in my music. Wretches and Kings by Linkin Park is actually one of my favourite songs, next to Bleed It Out (which I could listen to forever).
But yeah. It's so weird when you notice how old you yourself is getting, and how your tastes are changing.

I am going to be sooo productive today...

Oh wait. It's 11 pm.
Shit.
What happened?
Fuck.
...
Meh. Sleep now.
I'll study tomorrow.

Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate...

... chocolate, chocolate... The litany in her mind didn't die down. Desperate, she weaved through the crowds, looking for any sign, any place that carried what she so badly needed.
A convenience store up ahead. Perfect. The neon light pronounced it open to the masses.
But you cannot spend any money. Vous n'en avez pas! A smaller voice inside her head screeched. But some money was still left in her university card.
Abruptly, she turned around, oblivious to the confused looks many in the crowd gave her.
Restaurants. Just restaurants. All of them. Don't need food! Only chocolate.
An ice cream stand up ahead. Briefly considering, she shook her head. No. No cold foods. Not at this time of the month.
Minutes passed as she looked around. Nothing!... chocolate, need chocolate, chocolate, chocolate...
Increasingly frantic by the second, she left the building. Halls opened up through another door on the right. People passing flyers and crowds gathered around stands. Not what she needed.
More doors. More hallways. More people.
She almost missed it. There in the lone corner of the entrance stood a vending machine. A glow seemed to be cast from it, almost like a halo. Yes!
Digging out her card, she pressed the buttons, and then... bliss.
Finally.
The recitation in her mind grew quiet, calm once more.

I imagine I'm running from zombies...

... whenever I go on a run. It really keeps me motivated. :D
And not the slow zombies, like on resident evil. The fast ones, like on 28 days later. Those are scary as fuck. I would not last an hour in that world. Although resident evil also has its really scary zombies. Like lickers. Those are just really creepy. And don't get me started on the tyrants, lol.
So, yeah. I've been working out more often lately, and, lemme tell you, it's hard as hell. I feel hungry and tired all the time. I remember I used to be able to go hours without eating anything more than a light snack. And now it's like my stomach is always screaming at me. Sigh. And I have no money, so now I have to, God forbid, learn how to cook. This coming from the girl who burnt toast so many times that she had to buy a whole new loaf.

Je n'ai pas d'argent...

Seriously. I'm sooo broke right now. I am seriously never getting another cat until I'm fucking rich.
And I'm starving. There's really nothing at home (okay, I have no idea how to cook, and, by the time I'm hungry enough, looking up recipes just takes too fucking long).
There's this voice in my head that keeps telling me, it's only one time. What harm can it do?
And there's another voice that keeps saying, No, don't do it. You'll only regret it. Remember, vous n'avez pas d'argent. Yeah, it starts talking in french. I dunno why.
I'm sooo huuunnngggrrryyyy....
Fuck it.
I'm ordering mcdonald's.

It's back to school again

I know a lot of you are like, "Ugh! Not another BtS post!"
Seriously. I've heard it all. In my head. :P

But, yeah. School's a really complicated subject for me right now. I know you're all thinking, "Oh great, she fucked herself over again." And you wouldn't be altogether wrong.
Basically, what happened was that I messed up and got a lot of bad grades last year (and one in the summer). So much so that I had to switch programs. Only, procrastinating and avoiding me didn't do this until August. Just when I realized that switching programs take a shitload of time to be processed. Which meant that I might not go back in September.
Actually, the more I thought about it, the more I liked it. I have a massive credit card bill to pay due to my cat being sick and having to go to the vet, and I could work full-time until January to pay it off. Only one thing blocked me. A full-year course that I needed for basically every second-year course in my program.
But, fortunately, it turns out the program change happened fast, so now I can take courses in September. Or not.
They're all really full. And I'm refreshing like every five minutes to get into at least that full-year course. Which is really full too.
And I can't apply for government funding until I have all my courses, unless I want to get a lot less than I really need. So I'm basically screwed.
I guess I'll just keep refreshing until I get in.
Sigh.
I really hate school. There was a time I loved it, but now, due to my bad habits, and administrative lag (seriously, it's not the 19th century anymore!), I'm really starting to dislike it.

So my sister just got a job...

Basically, what happened was that my manager asked me if anyone I knew was looking for a job, and I told him about my sister.
You know, sometimes I think I really shouldn't have.

She's just... She's the youngest in our family, and a bit spoiled about money (less so now, but still). For me, my job is the most important thing to me, second only to school. Maybe because I was raised to believe that money, independence, and the freedom to do whatever the fuck you want go hand in hand. Rescheduling or skipping work and training is such an anathema to me that I cannot in any way understand why she would want to do that.
She's a bit spiritual, and she wants to reschedule her training next week to go on a week-long trip to this spiritual get-together/party/whatever-the-fuck-I-don't-even-know. I guess you can tell I'm agnostic only in the most scientific sense. I don't believe in God, or religion or anything like that. I do believe there is something greater than us out there, but it probably isn't interested in us in anything less than for studying and experimenting. But who the fuck knows? Or cares? Smh.

I just wish that she had gotten a job on her own, so if she quit, or rescheduled all the time, I wouldn't be involved in it, and my manager wouldn't look to me for answers.

Money... It always leaves as fast as it comes.

So I just slept for 24 hours straight...

Yup. I'm thinking of setting a new record.
Basically, what happened was, I had a test yesterday. And I hadn't studied whatsoever. Literally, I had no idea what was going on.
So I stayed up the entire night yesterday. Nope, not studying. Convincing myself to study. Needless to say, I wasted a lot of time I could have been sleeping.
And there I was, having no idea what was on the test, and with my brain fried from a distinct lack of sleep. I guess you can tell what happened.
This is what happens when I'm stressed, but avoiding and procrastinating.
Sigh. I really need to stop.

I KNOW Me

Better than you know me.

Sigh. I'm just fucking tired of people telling me what to do with my life, my health, and my appearance. Yeah, I get it. I'm unfit. I look ten years older than I really am due to lack of sleep. I rarely put on makeup when I go outside. I eat junk food at least once every few days.
I ALREADY KNOW THAT!
You think I'm doing this in my sleep or something? I KNOW what the fuck I'm doing with my life. So don't fucking tell me what I should be doing with it. I know what I should do.
Honestly. Arrogant assholes who act as if their advice is from God or something should fucking listen to their own advice.
You know what? MAYBE, maybe I'll listen to you when you stop acting like a fucking hypocrite.
Or maybe not. Whatever.
The point is, I know I'm fucking myself over. I don't need you to tell me.
And I'll fix it myself. My own way.